Lord Ooky Hellwrought’s Sixteen Unspeakable Utterances

March 25th, 2009

Lord Ooky Hellwrought’s Sixteen Unspeakable Utterances
(a Supplementary Lexicon for Lady Pixie Moondrip’s Random Craft Name Generator)

In her well-famed essay, to which I refer you for reference, the great loremistress lists the following thirty-one words as being the components of eighty percent of all craft names:

  • Wolf     Raven Silver     Moon     Star
  • Water     Snow  Sea     Tree     Wind
  • Cloud     Witch     Thorn     Leaf      White
  • Black     Green     Fire     Rowan Swan
  • Night     Red     Mist     Hawk     Feather
  • Eagle     Song     Sky     Storm     Sun
  • Wood

Aside from modern witches, Wiccans and neo-pagans, this list also holds true with the majority of witches and wizards in fantasy fiction, especially popular roleplaying games, and is thus of use and interest to the writers and readers thereof.  But with all due deference to the esteemed lexicographer, her rule breaks down in one crucial area: evil overlords and wicked enchantresses.

With the exception of the always serviceable “Black” and “Night,” few evil overlords or wicked enchantresses use more than one word from the above list in their craft names, seldom two, and never three.  The same holds true for the titles of books chronicling their black deeds.  However, this is not to say that the practitioners of the black arts are any more original than their white and off-white colleagues.  They simply draw from a second, but even more limited, word list.

After perusing my vast library of blasphemous texts and eldritch tomes (mostly the aforementioned fantasy novels and gaming supplements), I, Lord Ooky Hellwrought, have found the same sixteen soul-searing words repeated again and again.  Herewith, my addenda:

  • Bane     Blood     Bone    Curse    Dark
  • Death    Dire    Doom    Dread     Fell
  • Foul    Grim    Hell    Hex    Nether
  • Shadow

These words may be combined with those from Lady Pixie Moondrip’s original list in the same manner, or, for added effect, may be added to professional titles.  Dread pirates and blood ninjas can charge more than mere ninjas and pirates.  And while no one is much impressed by a merchant or thief, the same cannot be said of death merchants and shadow thieves.  (Lord Ooky Hellwrought notes that a few professions, such as hairdressers and proctologists, are beyond help.  Aspiring evil overlords and wicked enchantresses would do best to not list these on their resumes.)

4 Responses to “Lord Ooky Hellwrought’s Sixteen Unspeakable Utterances”

  1. Evan Goeron 25 Mar 2009 at 10:52 pm

    If you combine the two lists, the only thing it’s really good for anymore are Dark Elves. Cloudbane Thornhex! Grimhawk Netherstorm!

  2. Dawnon 26 Mar 2009 at 8:41 am

    I dunno… the Foul Proctologist? The Nether Proctologist? The Dark Proctologist? That’s not even getting into the (ouch) Blood Proctologist. I think it’s got a ring to it. I don’t want to speculate what kind of ring though.

  3. Marie Brennanon 31 Mar 2009 at 4:35 am

    I just want you to know that when I had to come up with the name of an Evil Villain on the fly tonight, for the humorous D&D-style story I’m working on, I did in fact roll a d20 to pick name elements out of your list, and ended up with Fellshadow. Thank you, Lord Ooky Hellwrought!

  4. […] You can find Lord Ooky’s report and his Supplementary Random Name Generator Lexicon here. […]

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