Even before Rike had finished taking fingers from hands, and rings from fingers.

As I read this, I wondered why Rike was taking fingers from hands: does he collect fingers as a hobby? For proof for a bounty? Either is gruesome. Then I finished the sentence and figured that you meant he was cutting off only the fingers with rings to better steal the rings. Perhaps there is a better way to word this, but I can’t immediately think of one that would also keep the “voice.”

I leaned back against the gallows-post…

From the previous description, I was envisioning the aftermath of a battle. The mention of the gallows post suddenly made me wonder if all these people had been hung. Yet that doesn’t fit the description given before or after. By the end of the first 13 lines, I was still uncertain exactly how these people had died and what the gallows had to do with that. If the description of what happen is coming soon, then this isn’t really a problem.

The corpses posed as corpses do. Some comical, reaching for the sky with missing fingers…

Perhaps you know something about corpses that I don’t, but I don’t see how a dead person could maintain are arm reaching for the sky…especially if Rike has disturbed them to cut off those fingers. Don’t muscles relax at death? I’d read on, though, to find out if there was a good reason why these corpses weren’t acting like I expected.

Hope this helped.

Very nice indeed – it’s morbid I know, but I loved your second paragraph. But then, I love the whole thing – I’ve just been reading Joe Abercrombie’s ‘Before the are Hanged’, so this is right up my street.

I can usually find SOMETHING to complain about in an opening, but frankly I think this is flawless. I know it’s a little presumptuous of me to ask, but for pure enjoyment’s sake I’d love to read more of this (if there is any), so if you want my opinion on it feel free to e-mail me at blue_phoenix86@hotmail.com

‘Loved it’ is all I have to say, really – sorry :p.

Daniel.

I’m not sure this is my kind of thing in terms of reading on, but I think you capture the narrator’s voice.

Is this part of a nearly finished manuscript?