Comments on: Critique #46 Leah Cypess’s revision http://www.deepgenre.com/wordpress Writing and Reading. Commerce and Art. Fantasy and Science Fiction. Discuss. Sat, 10 Jan 2009 04:04:38 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: Leah http://www.deepgenre.com/wordpress/damon-knight/critique-46/comment-page-1/#comment-2297 Leah Tue, 08 Aug 2006 18:51:31 +0000 http://www.deepgenre.com/wordpress/damon-knight/critique-44-2/#comment-2297 Thank you! Again, much appreciated. Thank you! Again, much appreciated.

]]> By: Sherwood Smith http://www.deepgenre.com/wordpress/damon-knight/critique-46/comment-page-1/#comment-2296 Sherwood Smith Sat, 05 Aug 2006 02:05:36 +0000 http://www.deepgenre.com/wordpress/damon-knight/critique-44-2/#comment-2296 Kit beat me to it. Other than the title, much smoother and more evocative! Kit beat me to it. Other than the title, much smoother and more evocative!

]]> By: Katharine Kerr http://www.deepgenre.com/wordpress/damon-knight/critique-46/comment-page-1/#comment-2295 Katharine Kerr Fri, 04 Aug 2006 07:58:59 +0000 http://www.deepgenre.com/wordpress/damon-knight/critique-44-2/#comment-2295 Oops -- I don't know why the line breaks are so uneven. This is something that I would guess Wordpress did, not Leah's software. Leah, your title gives everything away -- or so it seems from the first 13 lines. Even if the woman isn't Death, and the title's meant to be ironic, I don't think it works, as readers will assume it gives too much away anyway. <g></g> Oops — I don’t know why the line breaks are so uneven. This is something that I would guess Wordpress did, not Leah’s software.

Leah, your title gives everything away — or so it seems from the first 13 lines. Even if the woman isn’t Death, and the title’s meant to be ironic, I don’t think it works, as readers will assume it gives too much away anyway.

]]>